All good things come to an end..

2009-06-30T01:02:00.001+08:00

It has been so long since the last entry, have been too tied up with school work and some other stuff. I came across this paragraph in one of my friend’s blog. It goes like this, ‘’ It sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right pass someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them.’’

Dear time...

2009-05-17T03:49:00.003+08:00

It’s about time… it feels as if like your chasing for the very last train when you know that it’s too late. =)

2009-05-07T00:16:00.002+08:00

I can’t lie, as time goes by it starts to fall back to where it once struggled. On searching for the composure which exchanges for a mouthful of air, it’s strange yet familiar as it have always been there to keep it running…

2009-05-02T02:21:00.003+08:00

Visited two primary schools for data collection on Wednesday for FYP, the last school which we visited was Nan Chua Primary school, walking into the school along their corridor I could see a strong influence of Chinese culture, Chinese calligraphy works being displayed, poems and etc. It’s just like any other typical Chinese school, the feel of it just triggers the memories of my primary school and my primary school days in MBS. The environment is just so similar to where I used to be in, the compulsory higher Chinese lesson, contact time and the similar recess bell except they do not play edelweiss during rainy days…. Just got home from Gib’s place we had potluck and everyone prepared too much food for today and resulted to someone coming up with some silly card games and forfeits to clear the leftovers which then became a terrible idea when everybody ended up going home with a bloated tummy…

2009-04-26T20:18:00.011+08:00

Abstracted from album: Scorching Sun and Starry Nights Pt.1 / Pt.2 , Redang 09
12 people on an adventure. On the ultimate quest to find frolic and an extraordinary escapade.
Location: Pulau Redang , Malaysia
Credits to : KA .Goh , Rackcent .W

( The uber fine sand)
( Our messy room)
( The view that greet us every morning when we open our doors )

(Rackcent's ghostly encounter)
( The Buddha that you will never ever pray to but you will definately feel like punching, YQ. lol)
( Ok, the main focus is on the fiery moon we call it the '' rise of Shen Long")
( The gay fairy Ann)
( The dragonball fanatic AK and the hardworking YQ)
( What happened ???)
(The two fisherman YQ and Rackcent)

( We'll never get sick of beach volleyball!)

( Wow! Chill~ he does it almost everyday)
(Marine Centre)
( Some self entertainment)
~ The End~

A great hideaway just before school starts. I’ve seen the most beautiful night sky! Bring me back again!

Pheng- My mistake !

Jenny- Yup, it's KA haha..

2009-04-18T17:02:00.011+08:00

Abstracted from album: Then and Now
Back to the familiar familiar surrounding, familiar hotel and the familiar entertainment. KL 2 years later didnt change much, but we did. Stronger Wiser and Better. One thing never change, our bond is still that strong and Ramly Burger still gives us orgasm.
Location: KL , Malaysia.
Credits to KA. Goh & Rackcent .W

(Replica Inn is always our choice..)

(The liang teh stall that have been there for 35 years and it still taste as goood)

( It's a little bit bitter if you ordered the wrong flavour)

( The friendly stall owner)

( The awesome Wan Tan Mee!)

(The Ramly Burger stall just before Petaling street)

( The Ramly addicts ! )

( Holy shit ... it's Double chicken special with cheese! )

That’s pretty much about all for our one day KL extension trip, all about visiting and revisiting the places that we have been 2 years back and it’s all about eating and eating all day long! That’s like only half of our eating journey in KL. From this trip I see that sometimes things still remain the same, we are the ones that changed. At times we are just too ignorant or busy to just stop, observe,think, reflect and admit. The other half of the pictures were in KA’s memory card where it was all deleted accidentally… Next up will be the pictures taken in Redang Island!!

2009-04-17T16:27:00.003+08:00

Just came back from my very short getaway. The whole trip is really awesome…! Had lots of fun! And it’s really a nice place or rather a near perfect hideaway. I’ve never ever enjoy playing beach volleyball and beach soccer that much! And the beach is just so beautiful, the unusual powder white coral sand which we can’t find it in any of the beaches in Singapore, the crystal turquoise sea, the superb underwater marine life and the beautiful night scenery!!! Will be updated shortly with the pics !!

The introvert ...

2009-04-10T01:49:00.000+08:00

Two weeks away from a new semester and yet I’m totally not ready for it. I can’t wait to go off on this Sunday for a short overseas trip before school starts!
There are certain things which we can’t hide or avoid in life and I think the only way is to face it and try out best to do what we can to make our life easier.

Expect the unexpected..

2009-03-29T16:22:00.000+08:00

I’ve seen the largest rainbow that I’ve ever seen before till this point of my life, at a location which is so random and with whom I never expected. The sky at Bintan when darkness falls is really beautiful , it is lighted up with a lot of glittering stars which we will not be able to see it in Singapore. Prior to the last camp I did, I felt pretty worried and uneasy for no apparent reason thus, I feel that it’s ridiculous and therefore I ignore it and it’s for the first time that I do camps and I didn’t sleep well in the night, after tossing and turning for a while I manage to fall asleep but I had some really weird dreams and I was awaken for a few times, I was really very tired so each time I’m awaken I just ignore and try to get back to sleep only till the next afternoon when all of us had nothing to do sitting down chit chatting during lunch so I asked B,’’ why did you wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me that there’s a kid in our room ? Who the hell is it?’’ B said ‘’No…! You siao arh?’’
Along with B, DF , N were around too, DF was pretty terrified so I just laugh it off and just end it off jokingly. At the same time I think because I was too tired so we just carry on with our activities for the day. Until the night when all of the students we suppose to be in their tents when lights off, something serious and extraordinary happened…
Believe it, or not …

How do you sleep ... ?

2009-03-21T04:15:00.002+08:00

Manage to grab some cheap deals at the Adidas sales
Just had supper at Swee Choon with JK and company till 3am. (''Jk has finally grown up'' quoted from YQ )
The last FYP meeting is really productive.
Will be going off for camp again till 26th.
Finally manage to update my expired playlist, thanks to shan the supplier !
How do you sleep?
How do you , how do you sleep ?

It's so fast, that I never notice it's been so long, it is sort of in me...

2009-03-16T12:13:00.001+08:00

I’ve no idea what’ve got into me again for the past few days, some things just starts to flow back. I’ve so much to say to tell … . At times when my brain is not functioning that well just like this few days I’ll start to think of some silly questions and unrealistic thoughts which I know it shouldn’t be happening anymore. Just sometimes… .

2009-03-07T11:04:00.001+08:00

Just came back from another camp, and will be away for another camp tomorrow till 11th.
I feel a little bit ‘’disconnected’’ at times when I get back to Singapore especially when I’ve to do camps overseas.
Sigh …

Just some random thoughts ..

2009-02-27T15:54:00.002+08:00

Floating in the midst of a transition period … I’ve no idea what’s happening it’s as if I’ve suffered from a massive mental block which hinders me from expressing how I feeling in words and it’s damn difficult to even type a proper entry. Weird…! Anyway just a short update, have been really busy doing FYP and camps other than that nothing exciting or loud worth to mention. Oh Slumdog Millionaire is a must watch ! ! Ringa ringa ringa ring ...

A little too not over ...

2009-02-08T23:16:00.004+08:00

(Bloody Ivan told me there's supper at the office)

( The initial '' birthday cake'' , there's another one)

I’m back! Back from a camp which initially didn’t want to attend as I don’t think it will help me in any other way. But guess what? It’s awesome and the camp is totally a blast! It’s really a good exposure as I get to interact with people from all walks of life and campmates coming from all around the world, Japan, Canada, New Zealand, and China, England and Nepal it sounds as if I’ve gone for an overseas exchange. I’m really tired and lazy to mention every single event that have happen during the 5 days. I’ve learnt more than how to facilitate the activities it’s definitely an experience of a lifetime. Other than that I’ve also manage to understand more about my core self and discover what’s developmental self and contextual self. Last but not least I’ve got a birthday surprise too by M, DF, N and ZH at the campsite. Thanks people! Will not be able to update next week again as I’ll be out of town again, conducting camp this time round at Malaysia.

2009-02-01T15:22:00.002+08:00

Location: Admiralty road east, Former Pre-war British school.
Camera : 2 mega pix phone cam.

Finally manage to find sometime and send my watch for repair. In the end it became a great disappointment, the shop owner an uncle in this mid 70s said that it he can’t repair it, in addition he also pointed out that it’s not worth it to repair the watch as it will cost more than the retailed price that I’ve bought it. I ask him how much will it cost but he just refuse to quote me a price and just insist that it’s not worth it. I gave up in the end having the thought in mind that he really has no idea how much it’s worth… ha... is it me or the shop owner ?Will not be able to update again for a week or so as I’ll be off for camp again.

MY CNY

2009-02-01T00:32:00.010+08:00

For the very first time, I manage to post more then one pic just for the sake of CNY.
Pictures were taken using my pathetic phone camera. Location: Grandma’s house and Pris’s.

The CNY ang bao draw !

The lucky and delighted winners as you can see ..

( The End)

Hey ....

2009-01-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year … As usual, we’ll have our steamboat dinner and occasionally take a sip of Gordon Blue plus green tea. After that will be gambling time and tidbits & cookies marathon as we will stuff ourselves up with tons and tons of sweets and delicacies. Nice… But I still don’t get the ‘’CNY feeling’’. Just don’t feel it… I just can’t get to feel that kind of excitement and anticipation that I use to have anymore. Is it that we are older now? Or is it due to our gloomy economy? I’ve no idea. It seems something’s missing, using a simple analogy it’s just like having a bowl of fish ball noodles without fish balls. Some things just remain the same… Good night…

Lost...

2009-01-20T00:50:00.003+08:00

There’s a war going on in my heart and plenty of scorching thoughts colliding in my head, it seems like it’s getting tougher and tougher as I struggles to fight against the current which keeps dragging me back , won’t be updating till this weekend.

It's so fast, that I never notice it's been so long, it is sort of in me...

2009-01-17T23:09:00.002+08:00

(Bring me back there.... )

So...this will be the typical blog entry that you guys read anywhere else. Had a great match with team Japan, It has been quite some time since I play basketball. Head down to town after that for dinner, walk a few rounds and can’t really decide what to eat and in the end settle down at Youth Park for Botak Jones. Ordered the black pepper chicken for today rather than the typical Cajun chicken. Highlight of this evening, we went to the Museum of Broken Relationships at the esplanade.
I feel that it’s very nice and definitely a place not to be missed if you have got nothing much to do over the weekends, interesting stuffs being displayed like the letters and objects that have witnessed the disintegration of love, accompanied by the stories of their donors. At the same time you’ll also be able to leave your confessions on the big book right at the entrance. I hope I’ll have the time to visit it again tomorrow as it will be the last day of their tour in Singapore. Will be out of town next week for a few days, and it will be the start of our 10 weeks long vacation, finally …!

2009-01-12T13:59:00.000+08:00

Beautiful weekend, Tattoo show, a nice place, lovely and adorable kids...

2009-01-08T23:39:00.001+08:00

I’ve got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it. It has been with me ever since then…
For now, I wish this last three weeks of the semester will end as quickly as possible , I really can’t wait for the holidays as desperately as I need it and to be out of school. Other than that I hope I could vanish into the thin air just for the time being, the truth is it still hit as hard this time round....

Same shit, different day.

2009-01-06T10:23:00.004+08:00

(Virgin nightshot)

What a great start for this last three weeks of school. Sick and tired of this sickening routine.

2009-01-02T03:02:00.002+08:00

A brand new year with a brand new beginning, seems to be completely sensible and logical. Paradoxically, the familiar sense of fear and shortness of breath still co-exists, somewhere at the dark corner waiting for its chance to strike again…

what about now ....

2008-12-30T02:10:00.002+08:00

A couple of meet ups with friends for this Christmas, nothing much and that’s pretty what I wish for. Time flies…! The vivid memories of how I celebrate the last Christmas are still revolving in my head. I guess this shows how things come and go easily. In a blink of an eye, we’ll welcome year 2009 and depart from 2008. I won’t describe as a disastrous year instead I would say that it’s just like riding the roller coaster in the amusement park. I’ll definitely treasure the beautiful periods which I’ve gone through throughout the year, some eventually made a mark in my life. Just like riding a roller coaster, we’ll get to enjoy the beautiful scenery when we are at the top, and of cause not forgetting the heart wrecking moments just like how we go through the 360 twists and deep plunge during ride. I certainly did learn a lot throughout this ‘’ roller coaster ride’’. Everything happens and ends in a gust of wind and here I am at the end of year 2008. It seems like it’s impossible to say that we’ll never repeat out mistakes, just like how we crave for another ride when we actually that know it’ll be terrible, but just because of the addiction of the cheap thrill and excitement that we will get, we just go ahead without a second thought. Nonetheless, I pray for a smoother ride next year…Goodbye.....

Smile...

2008-12-18T23:03:00.003+08:00

Somehow…, the ‘’D -day ‘’ had arrived. It’s inevitable, yet I didn’t see it coming back then. There’s a famous quote that I’ve learnt sometime this year, ‘’ Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened’’. And true enough a simple smile does help to lighten things up. It might sound dumb but that’s my first reaction when I come to know about it and strangely, my heart feels lighter. Everything will change, and it’s either we embrace ourselves with the change, if not we’ll be ''changed'', in other words, it’s either we change or else we will be affected and to certain extent that we began to lose ourselves. But at the end of the day, some things remain the same.

Everything will change, but some things just remains the same..

2008-12-11T00:10:00.006+08:00

I’ve got so much stuff in my head, but I just can’t express it in words and blog it out…
Below are just some random photos taken over the weekend.

( The naughty Matthew 4 years old, I just told him that I'll like to take a picture of him and he just stike this pose)

2008-12-05T13:50:00.001+08:00

This song has been on replay mood since this morning till now…
Christmas is approaching, I kind of recall how I use to hang out at town during Christmas Eve during the secondary school days, playing silly games right outside Tangs and in front of Takashimaya. Getting home late and get screwed by parents. Those were the days…

Somewhere over the rainbow...

2008-11-25T01:22:00.004+08:00

Who knows what’s ahead of us? It is so unpredictable, it seems that what is suppose to happen will eventually happen and we’ll just need to find the reason why ,and most of the time it’s inevitable. Good night…

Daily routine

2008-11-19T00:13:00.007+08:00

(Journey to the north...)

(Breakfast..)

I think I'm moving but i go nowhere...

2008-11-16T01:09:00.001+08:00

2008-11-09T04:03:00.001+08:00

Had a mini gathering with some of the AK coaches last night at Ben&Jerry’s over at Dempsey Hill. Suresh ( a freaking humorous guy) was being ‘’ sarbo’’ as the ‘’ birthday boy’’ and he have to sing the birthday song on the stage with the resident band in front of the whole house of strangers. And of cause, he never fails to make everyone else to laugh their ass off. He could sing the happy birthday song in mandarin and English but not his mother tongue which is Tamil or Hindi I presume. That itself was the joke of the day. And after all that, he was given another challenge to sing the happy birthday song in Korean on top of that he will get 10 free scoops of ice-cream if he is able to do it. Guess what? He did it with the help of this bunch of Koreans in the house. And this bunch of Koreans happens to be the partner of the big boss of Singapore’s Ben&Jerry’s who is also present there, that explains why he was offered the 10 free scoop of ice-cream. Overall it was great, great music, great bunch of people, nice ambience, nice place and of cause with lots and lots of laughter throughout the night.

2008-10-31T17:48:00.003+08:00

Should I treat it as a joke? I’m seriously lost.
Over the past 3 days, I went for a camp and became an instructor. During the camp, although I’m the instructor of the kids, I learn a lot of stuffs from them too. The kids that we took are from Northlight school located somewhere near Good man road. It’s not a normal neighborhood school that you dealing with, they are kids who failed their PSLE, most of them came from broken/ poor families, slightly intellectually low and they are the bottom 5% of the whole of Singapore.

At first I thought it should be quite easy, the only thing is to get them to listen to you and do the things that you want them to do. But I’m totally wrong, the attention spent for these kids are very low. For example when you ask them to focus and look at you, the very next second they will be distracted by something else. I guess that’s their biggest problem that’s hindering them. Other than that they do not have any major problems.

It was tough at first to get hold of their attention and to get hold of them to listen to your instructions. But after a few hours and some activities, they began to open up and for the next moment they will be at your finger tips.

I discover that some of them have got some hidden talent within them which they themselves do not know. Even though they are not gifted academically but they are still as talented in other aspects. I’ve got this boy in my group that love to dance, and he is really good at it to the extent that their discipline master too agreed. Even without proper training he’s doing it so well, imagine if he have got this chance to further develop this talent, I’m sure he will defiantly excel in this area. Sadly, he can’t choose to do what he is good in but only to be gauge and despise by the society according to how well he perform academically. There’s another incident that surprise me too, during the second night, we were told to do a debrief with our kids and them to write something in the booklet that they were given to them. They are supposed to write anything they have to say about their school and basically what’s their opinion about their school. As usual, most of them you will expect some standard answer like I love my school because it’s fun, I’m proud of northlight and things like that. But there something that this boy (a very quiet boy who don’t usually speaks) wrote caught my attention and frankly I was pretty touched, don’t ask me why I don’t know. He wrote ‘’ I’m proud of northlight (first sentence) I want northlight to be proud of me.’’ Aw… I find that he is very sensible and truthful for a kid like him within that aptitude to write something like this.

During the camp, we have to motivate them and at the same time instill some values in them. Wow, instill values in them. Yes instill values. I feel very puzzled and confuse although I manage to change them successfully. After the camp, I kept asking myself I actually manage to instill some values in them but, I myself don’t even have some of the values. I don’t practice what I preach, isn’t ito funny? I’ve no idea, seriously no idea.
Anyway other than that, I really learnt quite a lot of stuffs during the camp. I hope I’ll have time to do more camp in future.

Happy ‘’Halloween’’ smelly….

2008-10-27T13:06:00.003+08:00

I shall update when I'm back from camp, meanwhile I will not post the original entry for today, just for today this special day that I'll never forget at least for a decade. Thank you...

I wonder if you feel the same way too ......

2008-10-20T15:06:00.000+08:00

As expected? I guess so, I’m not certain how long will it last too…
The feeling is just as if your experiencing a stage fright, your throat tightens, you’re knees turn weak and arms became heavy and your heart feels as if there’s something pounding on it. Once again, the overwhelming emotions just conquer me leaving me with no doors to escape. Having said that, my heart still yearns for …..

2008-10-18T01:41:00.001+08:00

I miss it, I miss it all, everything, every single thing that I will never get back anymore.
It can be quite funny sometimes how we perceive something at a certain period of our life.
I definitely miss it badly…
I can give up everything, literally everything just to repeat it all over again.
But I guess that won’t be enough…..
‘’ Halloween’’ is approaching… Time flies….

Happy birthday ‘’friend’’! I guess only a few will know this…. Ha..

When you leave I lost a part of me, is that so hard to believe?

2008-10-15T02:39:00.002+08:00

Have a sudden urge to blog again. I went over to this very beautiful and peaceful place over the last weekend and I really find peace there, it’s like a total cut off from the hectic life that I have. I wish I could stay there for a certain period of time just to do some soul searching. I’ve thoughts to discontinue this blog but the stubborn me just feel that I should continue… Thinking of how I even start this habit of blogging and how this blog is actually created......

2008-10-07T10:57:00.005+08:00

I thought that I am stronger until ….. A sudden splurge of emotions overwhelms my whole body, I felt weak and breathless, and the sensation spreads till the tip of my fingers. I try to finish the plate of rice that I bought, but every spoon of rice that I tired to sallow is just to fight against the emotions that are gushing out from my mouth. I felt so lost and I struggle to fight against the urge and anxiety within me. I’ve got this urge to call out your name, to approach you just like how I’ve use to. But my senses hold me back and it reminds me that everything is different now. My heart shrunk and I can feel the short sharp pain like as if something is piercing through it. I yearn to see her but at the same time I wish I’ll not. I miss you..

(The Script- The Man Who Can't Be Moved)

Lost without your love..

2008-10-06T01:59:00.000+08:00

All I know is to follow my heart but I still end up being caught and entangled within the same time frame.
I do not understand why it is so strange that my heart can’t stop yearning for you.
It has been a torture to fight against the reoccurring memories that never seems to stop flowing in my mind.
It is a vicious cycle that I’ve to go through each day, to put on a mask and pretend that everything is just fine. It’s tiring, very tiring…..

2008-10-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

In a blink of an eye, the month of September is over. To sum up, it wasn’t great at all.
It’s so easy for us to gain something at the same time to lose something. Sadly I’ve lost a part of me.

Escaping from reality...

2008-10-01T03:18:00.002+08:00

I should have stopped this long ago but I think that it’s not up for me to choose.
Are you there? Will you be reading this?
Could these all just be a bad dream, just a nightmare?
Ha ha ha, I must be kidding.
NO, I’m not!
Just so you know………………

Realise...

2008-09-27T01:43:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I can’t help it but to think that, what is suppose to happen will happen eventually and there’s nothing we can do. It might sound very illogical and shallow, but isn’t it true? Don’t we have enough time to realize it and stop it from happening? Possible? I don’t know... Anyway… anyway it’s… yah. Some things are better left unsaid... Sigh...

how are you... ? I miss you.....

2008-09-25T13:09:00.000+08:00

Went out to have a couple of drinks last night with WS, H and X and bump into a couple of my friends also around there. Reach home bloody late but still manage to wake up for lesson this morning.
The class sucks to the core, especially with some fucking weird classmates around. Ok don’t wish to elaborate further.
Anyway, it’s half way through the day, and I’m fucking hating it.

2008-09-23T01:40:00.000+08:00

Girl, remember the days when we were doing things that we love, together?
So much so that I wish to let go, but some things just can’t go the way we wish it will.
No one said that it’s easy.
All I know is that sometimes, it can be so difficult that you can’t even swallow your own saliva......

With you...

2008-09-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

The busy days are over ….
Somehow I can’t forget you, after all that we have been through …
I thought that it will get better in time, and it’s just a matter of time but it’s not true.
It’s getting harder and harder to get through the days as everything doesn’t seem to come out right.
I love how the way you make my world go round.
Yes, I know things weren’t the same just like before.
But my mind can’t erase the memories and let it rest.
The only thing that keeps me alive is to think that you’re better off now.
Even with that, I struggle to move on…
I don’t know what I can wish for now, but to pray that it’ll get better.

Learning to live without you....

2008-09-16T02:39:00.002+08:00

Have not been online for almost one whole week, a total cut off from technology including my hand phone. It’s a super busy week sleeping at around 4 am almost every night. I’m glad that the ‘’ busyness’’ at least keep my mind off certain things for the time being. But unfortunately last night, it finally surfaced itself again after one whole week. Sigh, I seriously don’t know what’s with me too. I don’t know. It might sound ridiculous or silly to you, but I’ve developed some kind of fear of going to school… It really suck.

I think of you every night and I really miss you..

always a part of me..

2008-09-11T09:43:00.001+08:00

Wanting to blog something down, but I’m too tired recently. This week is hectic, turn in at 3am every night. Needless to say, the same old thing is still running in my head every day, every moment.
My watch just stop running this morning, no matter how I wind it, it just won’t start running again. But instead of throwing it away I still wear it to school, because it have became a necessity in my everyday live, when I forget to put on my watch it’ll just seems like there’s something missing and I’ll still look at my wrist time to time forgetting that I’ve forget to wear it for the day. It’s not Tag Heuer or Cartier, it’s just a normal mechanical watch but it meant a lot to me due to its sentimental value.Well.... ...

Getting nowhere...

2008-09-07T00:57:00.002+08:00

I hope I’m wrong, and I pray that it’ll not happen. Come to think of it, what’s anything worse than that, which I’ve not seen yet?
Came across this very old song when browsing through my friend’s playlist.
Title- Only Love

If, if only, if only I could realize it earlier then it might not turn out this way. It has been quite some time, but nothing seems to have changed. I’ve tried my best….

Happy ending...

2008-09-05T02:02:00.000+08:00

I’m so afraid when the sky starts to turn dark when the night falls recently, very afraid. I’m not kidding, it really freaks me out because it’s not gonna get any better. I thought I’m moving, until I realized that I’m still stuck at the same old spot. It’s still talking my breath away

New sem, same old shit....

2008-09-04T13:44:00.001+08:00

Officially first day of school for semester 2, this time round not much problem of getting to the correct class, must thank the school for the sms reminder service. Anyway, I was almost late for class and I hate walking into a new class full of people and you will be like a blur cock standing there in search for a sit. The rest of them will give you that cold stare ‘’ your almost late’’, ‘’ your sit is over there blur cork’’ in their mind that kind of thing. Ok so I settle down and found my teammates with the help of a helpful classmate. So it turns out pretty ok, but the lesson is super duper boring like hell, too lazy to even contribute during class discussion until the faci call up my name. I stunned for a second and just think of some crap to answer to her question, and luckily it make some sense and the rest of the class agreed. *Phew~

Just when I thought it will not affect me that much anymore, but I’m wrong. I hope the day will come soon, the day when I can read through the e-mails and messages without feeling anything, just pray for this day to come…

I still ......

2008-09-02T01:26:00.002+08:00

Have been so tired and busy lately, too tired to do a lot of things.
Who are you now? Are you still the same or did you change somehow?
What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you?
No matter how I fight it, can’t deny it, just can’t let you go.
Though everything’s been said and done, I still feel you like I’m right beside you.
Now that you’re gone, instead of moving on, I refuse to see and I keep coming back,
And I’m stuck in a moment, that wasn’t meant to last.
Alright, time to try to sleep again bye ……

'' I still.....'' (extracted from the song by Backstreet Boys)

Same old thing...

2008-08-31T01:58:00.000+08:00

School gonna start next week, damn I didn’t get the elective that I want, so which means to say it’ll be a four day week for me again and I’ve to go through the same stupid shit again which is to go to different class every day. Argh, it’s very troublesome because I’ve to remember which class to go damn. Surprisingly, I’ve seen before at least 20 out of 25 of my classmates for each class. All familiar faces, no choice SHL too small. I officially give up on my I phone applications. I’ll shall not touch anything and just use it to call and sms.

Incomplete..

2008-08-28T01:41:00.004+08:00

The chorus of this old song keep running in my head . And it takes me half of the day to figure out what’s the title of the song.

So, school gonna start next week. Previously, before school reopen I’ll be pretty excited. But I’m not feeling it all now. Come to think of it I can even foresee me dragging myself to school every morning with my CMI laptop.
Finally manage to import my contacts from my SIM card, but it’s not what I want. In the end, I key in one by one for 2 hours……… -_-
Lastly, I can also foresee that my ankle will give way anytime soon. Ouch….

Apple = trouble ?

2008-08-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

Hmm, went down to the com centre at Somerset to collect my I phone. Waited for like 3 hours! But it’s worth the wait I guess. But currently I’m having some problem of downloading some applications damn, anybody who knows me know that I suck at gadgets and any other computer software.
Damn, I spent 4 hours last night and only manage to sync a handful of songs and photos over, damn pathetic. Any volunteers to teach me how to use apple applications? Argh… I’ve still yet to manage to import my contacts from my SIM card. Any idea where to get any nice pouch? Or whatever shield you call it, I just like to get something decent to protect it from my sweaty palms.
Oh, I’ve yet to start on my PP. Still in search of inspiration and motivation -_-! Next few weeks gonna be freaking busy, have got trainings to go, two competition running on the same time, PP to complete, work, spiritual commitment and start of sem 2 but at least it helps to put some things off my mind when I’m busy. On the other hand, it seems to get worse instead of improving because most probably to escape from the problem will not work out, it’ll just cover up the problem and make it seems like it’s solved.

2008-08-25T00:43:00.000+08:00

I’ve tried, but why is it still coming after me? Time flies, yet another weekend is over. Mixed feelings.
Good night.

2008-08-24T03:45:00.002+08:00

It’s 3am and I can’t seem to fall asleep, come across a few songs at youtube. Songs, I love to listen to songs just like anyone else and it can bring back a lot of memories either that or it’ll bring me back to that particular phase of my life. There’s one particular song which I really love and the impact of it is pretty strong. Chris Brown- With you.
This song happened to be very popular at that particular period of my life, and I still can remember clearly how you sang the chorus part ‘’ with you, with you, with you ‘’ in that dumb way just to cheer me up. It’s damn funny and cute and never fail to put a smile on my face. Plus many more occasions. Thinking of it now it’s bitter sweet. I can’t seem to up load it here due to the embedding is being disabled. Anyway, it’s a popular song so I guess everyone will have it your playlists. Here's the link if you happen not to be one of them. http://www.youtube.com/watchv=CXQZ7VCAAU&feature=related
In addition, there’s this old classic song the lyrics is super nice sang by Whitney Houston- I will always love you. Other then ignoring the high key part where it can be quite scary at times especially you listening it at this particular time of the day, it’s nice and sort of sums up how I feel at the moment.
Alright, I think I’ve go and try to catch some sleep while listening to the song at repeat mood till I fall asleep.

'' always be my baby '' David Cook

2008-08-23T20:59:00.004+08:00

Tired, drained. Gonna turn in early tonight. What are you doing? How I wish Icould spend the night watching the fireworks display with..... Goodnight, rest well.

2008-08-23T00:28:00.000+08:00

How much do I have to say?
Nothing new, how can I stop the memories from haunting me each and every day?
For some reasons I know why, I can’t stop myself from reminiscing the past and read those texts that we use to send each other. Images of you just keep floating in my mind. Good night......

2008-08-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

Well, the thing which kills me actually keeps me alive and ongoing. Funny isn’t it? Ok maybe you guys won’t get what I mean. The thoughts of it just keep recurring on my mind 24/7. Cold and out of breath is how it feels. Good night…

2008-08-20T23:16:00.001+08:00

I’ve got lots to say but I think it’s better left unsaid. And perhaps there is not point saying it all. It has been quite some time but I’m proud to say I’m still stuck and nothing really changes except my perception of certain things in life. It’s truly a great learning journey, a painful one, a one that drains away all my strength I have. Just so you know.

2008-08-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

Me..

2008-08-17T23:25:00.003+08:00

Everybody’s busy but I’m not. Tried very hard walking out of the door but I couldn’t. Stuck and lost forevermore. The weekend’s seems plain and dull. Nothing to look forward to, unlike before. Nonetheless, I still......

So far away..

2008-08-14T23:38:00.007+08:00

Decided to take some time off and just be alone this evening, it have been ages since I ride my bicycle. Therefore I decide to cycle to east coast park for a ride alone, at the same time to put some things off my mind just for the few hours. I always enjoy riding along the coastline soak yourself in the warm sunshine, feel the strong wind blowing against you and enjoy the great scenery just make me feel free and relax. Oh not forgetting the familiar BBQ smell coming from the BBQ pits.
Manage to snap some pictures along my way using my pathetic 2 mega pixel hand phone camera.

( Near to the end of ECP)

(Freaking long stretch of road towards Changi village alongside the infamous Changi Coast Road and Changi Airport)

(A glimpse of T3 from far)

(Time to head back home. )

Pretty exhausted after the ride, I hope I’ll be able to turn in earlier tonight. Goodnight.. Sigh...

Reminiscing the past....

2008-08-14T00:26:00.002+08:00

Spend one whole day doing nothing productive.
I’ve yet to learn and acknowledge how things change in our everyday life. Your day can just be as peaceful and the next thing you know there might be a great calamity ahead of you the next day.
I’m still lost and trapped in between the transition.

'' And the hearts all over the world tonight, said the hearts all over the world tonight.'....' - Chris Brown

Gone....

2008-08-13T00:02:00.003+08:00

First day of my holidays and it suck.
Have got PP to complete but I’m not doing anything about it.
Just came back from a funeral. It’s a typical Taoist funeral, each table will be served some food and most of the people there enjoy eating the scrumptious meal prepared. I’ve got no idea why, but I just don’t have the appetite to eat. I feel like as if it’s so out of place. Aren’t we supposed to mourn for the death of the decease instead? Apart from that some of them still can gamble there right in front of the dead. Hmm, I find it so weird. I guess it’s another effect of modernization.
Anyway, I guess I’m suffering from insomnia. I can’t sleep although I’m physically worn-out by the gym session during the day time. Streams of thoughts just keep running in my head although I’ve tried hard not to even think of it. I wonder how long I will be living my life like this. Why is it so difficult? I don't know what else I can do. Sigh ..

?

2008-08-12T14:23:00.000+08:00

I’m tired, very tired. Tired of doing things which I’m suppose to do.
Time just passes day by day and nothing changes.
I wish I could go for a short retreat at some Hawaiian beach resort.

'' I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams.. '' - 3 Doors Down

Everything stays the same.....

2008-08-11T02:11:00.000+08:00

9 of August 2008, how I wish could spent the day like last year.
I don’t know where should I start from, or how should I even react.
Time, time, time, is it all it takes? For now, I’m certain that it’s not.
Deep down, I wish I could leave everything behind and go to a place far from here, to hide and to deceive myself on certain things.

I'm sorry...

Smile because it happened, don't cry because it's over.

2008-08-08T21:41:00.000+08:00

It’s gonna be a dull and repetitive entry again.
I don’t know how to solve this problem, I guess I shall find a corner in my brain and hide it for the time being. I do not know how to be fine when I’m not. At the same time, life has to continue. I’ve done numerous mistakes which leads to the up most undesirable consequences.
After next Monday, semester 1 will officially come to an end. It started off with much enthusiasm and excitement but it ended off with great disappointment and distress. It’s one of my greatest learning journeys in life I guess? Or it is just a part of growing up and life? I’m totally clueless.
I remember someone told me this quote, ‘’ don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened’’ I hope it’s correct , correct me if I’m wrong.
Sometimes, it’s quite funny how we perceive certain things in life. When the worse things happen, we will lie to ourselves that there’s something greater or better lying ahead of us, thus we should move on and stop grieving on what that have happened. But it’s that true? We don’t know but we choose to believe our own lies.

One missing piece...

2008-08-05T22:19:00.000+08:00

For everything that I’m doing currently just don’t seems right every day just seems so grey and monotonous , it’s that kind of feeling where you feel like there’s something missing something have been taken away from you. Like when you’re out with your friends physically but your soul is not there. I don’t wish to be a nuisance too. I’m sorry but I can’t help it. Time can’t erase this feeling so strong.
Alight, goodnight everyone….

Time flies .......

2008-08-02T00:40:00.000+08:00

Time flies, next week will be the last week of AY08/09 semester 1.
Quite a number of major events happened and out of a sudden kaaaa boom! Everything has ended just in a blink of an eye.
I’ve get to know some fabulous classmate and facilitator. Again, we can’t expect everything to last forever. We’ll be having a change of class next semester.
Certainly, some of us will go through or experience some things that will change the course of our life. And sadly, I’m that kind of person who can’t adapt to changes that well.
Well, what to do? Life still go on and nothing will slow down and wait for anyone of us.
I wish I can be stronger in the sense that I can just heck care everything and move on each time, and then we will not get that emotional and feel so fcuk up at times and it applies to everything that have happen during my life time . I guess I should slowly learn and aspire to be like that and I’ll lead a better life without anything to hold me back and I can do whatever I like.

Somewhere over the rainbow..

2008-08-01T08:43:00.000+08:00

( awesome jumbo hot dog !)

(what kicks are you rocking today? LOL)

Stay back in school to do PP yesterday. I don’t think things are going well. I’ve never expect this to happen. Nevertheless, I will be there whenever you need me, I will go all out, no doubt and unconditional. I wish you well =)

Funny incident...

2008-07-31T14:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, khab borrowed my phone to call his friend. After like ten minutes, I forget all about it and I start to panic and search high and low for my phone. And I wonder where the hell my phone is.
This is crazy…..

Nice day =)

2008-07-31T12:47:00.001+08:00

I really don’t know what to do…
No matter how hard I try to escape from it, no matter how hard I pray, I can’t seems to erase the feelings that hunts me day and night.
I’m clueless …..

Pls, save me.

2008-07-31T02:19:00.000+08:00

Ever get so lost in a day?
Doing something and half the time your time or soul is actually not there?
I realized that I can’t, I’ve tried hard enough.
But ok it might not seem that I’ve.
I did, and it’s terrible.
Sigh …

what a nice day !

2008-07-29T14:14:00.000+08:00

Oh well, oh…
I wish I could express my feelings not only through words and actions. I feel like as if I’m a mute at times.
Now that it’s all said and done.
I’ve lots of stuffs to say, lots of things running n my head, but I just feel blank.
I guess there is no other way the only thing is to keep it within myself so that I won’t be such a nuisance to anyone else.
Rotting at corner in the school library, it’s damn freaking bored.
Got up late this morning and have to cab to school rush to my bock without knowing which class I should go.
Get into the class and settle down like 1 min before the UT starts. Finally manage to start the UT and guess what? My come just shut down by itself. So I’m left with no choice but to use the paper and realize that I’ve not done any test using the pen for like almost 1 ½ years. Manage to finish every question in time.

Pretty much what that have happened this morning, what a good start!

Rotting at the library to wait for the next UT. And now is like 1:46pm only. Oh praise the lord! What a good day!

=

2008-07-29T02:06:00.000+08:00

All good things...

2008-07-28T12:59:00.001+08:00

Yes, I’m repeating this again and again, why do all good things come to an end? Why??
Why?
Why?
If I wish I could do so, I would have done it earlier; if it’s within my control I would have done it earlier.
Of course, how I wish I can control how I feel. Ok it’s a little bit contradicting as we can control how we feel but at times we can’t.
I wish I can stop thinking that there is this someday or somehow, or just so that something like a miracle will happen.
I ask myself why am still so stubborn? Why am I still living in self denial when everything has been said so clearly? Why? Do you know why?
What are the factors that cause me to be such a pain?
Is it just because I’m stubborn? Yes there might be a possibility, but is that so?
Think a little deeper.
The emotions, assurance, hope, happiness and love that is planted in long ago doesn’t count?
Please believe me, it’s insuppressible, it’s demanding and it’s still taking my breath away.
Time can’t erase the feeling this strong.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
girl , my love will get you home. ( christine glass) edited.

With you.....

2008-07-27T03:46:00.000+08:00

Its 330am and I’m not sleeping yet.
Whenever I close my eyes, I’ll see those beautiful moments …..
And when I open my eyes, my heart will miss a beat, shortness of breath and coldness struck my heart.
I sincerely pray and hope that I could sleep and wake up with you telling me that, it’s just a nightmare baby, it’s alright.
Please, bring me back.
Is this what we all have to go through in life? Why?
Is that the only way for destiny?

I need you boo,
I gotta see you boo
And the hearts all over the world tonight,
Said the hearts all over the world tonight (Chris Brown)

I just can't turn away, i can't look away....

2008-07-25T14:32:00.000+08:00

There is no other word that can best describe my feelings now.
I did expect that this will happen but I never expect it to really happen.
Yes, I’ve got to accept it but at this point of time I personally feel that it’s not up to me to decide.
It’s just so difficult deal with these overwhelming emotions which hunts after me day and night.
I’m willing and ever ready to give up anything just to buy some time to stop all these that have happened.
Yes, it’s really stupid to feel like that but the truth is I’m really driven to such a point where I’m really so desperate. (Yes, I’m the one who cause this to myself)
I understand that it should be mutual. But, I really just can’t help it.
Please, save me from this like how you capture my soul.

Some things to think about....

2008-07-24T10:25:00.000+08:00

If tomorrow never comes what will you do?
We all have obligations, responsibilities, goals, and priorities that are relevant, such as our financial security, career status, and social prestige. We have goals, dreams, ambitions and obstacles to overcome. We also have unique challenges to face, hurdles to climb, people to meet, all sorts of relationships to foster, and on and on.
We even have superficial stuff on our agendas such as our lifestyle, how much money we make, the kind of car we drive, the possessions we accumulate how we look, and so forth. All of this is fine and good and reasonable. But none of it is what’s going to make us happy when we only have one more breath to breathe.
I treasure every moment for now till I don’t know when.

Somewhere, sometime ....

2008-07-21T13:15:00.000+08:00

I’ve got the hint long ago, but this is not gonna do me any better.
Definitely not…. (Yes, it’s tough for you too)
What to do? Please tell me…
You guys might think that I’m mad; you all will experience it one day or perhaps not at all.
I do not know how to react, I guess I should be glad too as I’ve realize and discover something which maybe some people might not even realize it in their life time.
Yes what I’m feeling now might be peanuts compared to the earthquake victims of China but it’s nowhere far.
It’s not about being able to get used to it a not, I’m sure it’s not…..
Well, like I’ve always say, I guess that’s life…

Baby why can't we just, just start over againGet it back to the way it wasIf you give me a chance I can love you rightBut you're telling me it won't be enough
Baby why can't we just, just start over againGet it back to the way it wasIf you give me a chance I can love you rightBut you're telling me it won't be enough ….. (Elliot Yamin)

Lost ....

2008-07-19T19:19:00.000+08:00

I don’t know where to start from, just lost and out of my mind I guess.
I’m really lost and do not know what to do.
I hope everything will be fine just like before.
Teasing, disturbing, and playing.
To think that all these will be gone just stuck me cold and out of breath and lost.
I’m willing, willing to wait…

Please turn around and look back.............

2008-07-18T16:00:00.000+08:00

Blank , I mind just go blank. I hope it can shut down by itself one day or just blackout.
Again, I sincerely hope I could just disappear into the thin air.
Once again, I fell all the way down to the rock bottom.
This is not about getting emotional, I guess nobody else understand how I feel right now and no best word can describe it.
The whole world just seems to crashing on me.
Yes I know, I know what I’m doing because I don’t give up easily for something which is already a part of my life and important in my life.

Life....

2008-07-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

Yes , emo and it seems like it’ll never end. So just have to live with it.
I guess nobody else can help me except myself.
Again, it’s difficult very difficult.
In life, we learn through our experience and mistakes.
Many a times we won’t realize it until I don’t know when.
Sigh…
If any of you don’t feel like getting emo please do not continue reading.
I think I can consider myself floating at my lowest peak of my life, I was once up there riding on top of the waves but it just crashed.
Yes we do experience ups and down. But hey it’s terrible man!
Right now, what I’ve learnt is to appreciate, treasure and give some more thoughts before I speak. =)
Hmm… ok I shan’t continue further before I utter some more nonsense that will screw things up further although I’m already screwed.
Lastly, oh hi people! Welcome to the other side of Emmerson !

Now you wanna be free, i'll let you fly cos I know in my heart that our love never dies, you will always be a part of me. =)

2008-07-11T14:41:00.000+08:00

Hmm…. I have lots and lots to say, but I’m just like having a mental block that I can’t put my thoughts into words.
Thanks to my friends again, thank you Jun Kai and Koon Ann.
I think I’ve to seriously learn,
I REAP what I SOW, ( lol)
Some things in life when we missed it we might not be able to get it back, never again.
I guess, it’s never too late to realize it now, at least I’ve really learn something.
I do not hate anyone else except myself.
I realize that no matter what happens nothing will stop life still goes on and each day will pass no matter how sad or devastated we are.
So, I’m trying hard really trying.
Well, time flies nothing last forever….
But on the bottom line it’s the matter of fact if we want to or not.
I never give up and for now I can’t because I’m rational enough to know who is really so dear and important to me right now at this point of my life.
Yes, it’s no point saying this now, but it’s just how I feel.
You guys might have or have not experience such a situation or perhaps maybe something worse. I guess you all will experience it one day or maybe you will never experience it in your life time.
We go through different stages in life, we have to make decisions and sometimes it’s difficult when you approach the crossroads. Which way to choose? Where to go? How?
The answers are actually within us.
Same goes for me, I choose to live in self denial. Hoping that I will and can maybe wake up one day and all that I’ve experienced currently it’s just a dream.
Hmm…yes, terrible, hopeless Emmerson. =)

2008-07-10T15:07:00.000+08:00

Super dry and boring day, had some fun in the sports lab with some crazy classmates.

That's all..

Sigh... =) =(

hmm ....

2008-07-07T00:50:00.000+08:00

A lot of things in this world is unpredictable,
But never in my life have I been so sure
You’re the only girl that I love in this cold world.
I yearn for you every day and night
Although you’re not ready for now, but I shall wait till you sort out your feelings right
I’m sure there’s something ahead waiting for us
Just like how we got together from the start.
You’ve never been out of my mind ever since the day you walk away
Like how you mesmerize me right from the very first day
Like how I persisted all these days
I shall wait for you till the day your back again
Although the future seems blur
But please be rest assure
We will create it like how we did
And venture into this whole new world.
For how long I’ll wait, time will prove it.
For how much I love you, actions will show.
Never be afraid to hold my hands again
For you , my girl I shall wait……

Can't stop looking back......

2008-07-06T15:36:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. I can’t help but sigh.
There’s too much to say, and it’s just the foolish me.
When will I wake up from this stupid dream of mine?
Living on each day, hoping that I’ll wake up from this might mare.
I hope I could get to a place where I can just leave everything behind.
I do not want sympathy.
Why can people switch roles?
Oh perhaps I could not accept reality that’s why.
Control, control control.
Do not screw things up further.
Get back to reality.

happy yet sad day... =) =(

2008-07-06T01:30:00.000+08:00

Just got this sudden urge to blog again, I’m so tired physically and yet I can’t sleep.
Today’s grandma’s birthday!
Went to celebrate her birthday at some restaurant at Mirama hotel.
The quality and the food sucks. The waitress who serves us is a cranky old woman.
I think I should really learn.
And I think I’ve develop this ‘’mental illness’’
I bet some of you did experienced it before.
When you’re waiting or expecting a call too much, at a certain point of time your brain will start playing tricks.
I checked my hand phone twice and I thought I’ve receive an sms to my surprise the phone didn’t even vibrate and there’s nothing. LOL
Laugh all you want. Ha ha..
Took some pictures with my cousins… will update as soon as I got hold of it.
I miss you….

04/07/08

2008-07-04T14:08:00.000+08:00

Weekends full of dinners.
Hmm… why do all good things come to an end?
HAHA!
Trying to get better
And behave
Craving for Muthu curry
Thinking of you
A lot of stuffs to do
No time to decide
Laugh and cry
I hope I could buy time

asdfghjkl asdfghj

2008-07-03T08:33:00.000+08:00

Sigh…. It seems like I’ve just got struck my lighting. Hahaha…..
Cold and out of breath….
This is madness hahaha…..
Having anatomy and physiology today, man I’m seriously cold and out of breath.
God, save me! Wake me up!

2008-06-30T08:35:00.000+08:00

Hmm … I’ve got a lot of things to blog about, quite a number of things happened that change my course of life or my perspective of life. Woah… sound so serious arh! But it’s true………

Day 7

2008-06-23T10:46:00.000+08:00

Some of the sweet memories, time can’t erase the feelings this strong, we will linger on…… =)

Day 6...

2008-06-22T14:21:00.000+08:00

I’m still missing you dear love.
We should learn how to appreciate things when we have it. Not only when they are gone, be it your love ones or anything else.
I hope you will be back soon from hiatus…….

Day 3

2008-06-20T10:44:00.001+08:00

Day 3 . My classmate happened to blast this song in class, always be my baby by David cook. Haha, madness, nice song yeah…. Sigh.
I’m sure we’ll linger on and time can’t erase feelings this strong. I know you’ll be right back. You will always be a part of me. The lyrics are so nice. It has been in replay mode on my com since yesterday till now.

Always be my baby... sighh

2008-06-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

We were as one babeFor a moment in timeAnd it seemed everlastingThat you would always be mineNow you want to be freeSo I'm letting you flyCause I know in my heart babeOur love will never dieNo!You'll always be a part of meI'm a part of you indefinitelyGirl don't you know you can't escape meOoh darling cause you'll always be my babyAnd we'll linger onTime can't erase a feeling this strongNo way you're never gonna shake meOoh darling cause you'll always be my babyI ain't gonna cry noAnd I won't beg you to stayIf you're determined to leave girlI will not stand in your wayBut inevitably you'll be back againCause ya know in your heart babeOur love will never end noYou'll always be a part of meI'm part of you indefinitelyGirl don't you know you can't escape meOoh darling cause you'll always be my babyAnd we'll linger onTime can't erase a feeling this strongNo way you're never gonna shake meOoh darling cause you'll always be my babyI know that you'll be back girlWhen your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhhI know that, you'll be right back, babeOoooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of timeYou'll always be apart of meI'm part of you indefinitelyGirl don't you know you can't escape meOoh darling cause you'll always be my babyAnd we'll linger onTime can't erase a feeling this strongNo way you're never gonna shake meOoh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)I'm part of you indefinitelyGirl don't you know you can't escape meOoh darling cause you'll always be my babyAnd we'll linger on (we will linger on....)Time can't erase a feeling this strongNo way you're never gonna shake meOoh darling cause you'll always be my babyAlways be my baby

Monday E55F

2008-06-16T10:35:00.000+08:00

Today’s lesson is so farking boring and my classmates are super freaking quite the only noise I can hear currently is the sound of our laptops and everybody’s busy doing their own stuffs chatting online and surfing some other website other than myrp.edu.sg. lol.
The problem statement for today is super dry.

Breakout with my classmates is fun, went to the café.
After first meeting the class is still so dead.
Saw some devil outside the toilet just now who gave khabir a killer smile.
I don’t think we will be able to produce anything decent for third meeting today.
My facilitator is a poser, who is a Aussie wannabe.

The clouds were dropping and the rain forgot how to bring salvation....

2008-06-15T00:27:00.000+08:00

Hahaha, sigh. Oh man ‘’sigh’’ again. LOL I’m sorry just didn’t realize it that I’ve been doing that so often. Hmm…I’m coming up with something handmade for my baby. Yeah, and I hope she will like it. It’s not any expensive stuff but it’s a gift with my heart. It’s the thoughts that count yah! Ok crap……..

Oh man, my school starts at next week! Sigh, fcuking hell. But at least I get to spent some quality time in school rather than rotting at home or at work. Damn my understanding test grades suck especially for inclusive physical activity, Damn it. I’ve not idea what’s wrong with my brain. This is actually my easiest module and I can’t even score, yet ironically I did pretty well for my toughest module. WTF!

Sigh, opps sorry. There will be a dinner tomorrow over at grandma’s place hopefully I can make it. Have not been seeing them for like quite long hahahaha!

Hmm…. I really wish I could blog out how I really feel, but I can foresee a disaster if I do that so well, I should just forget it,(if only I could). Hahaha. alright, it’s about time to try to sleep again. Goodnight!

Boring day .... sigh .. .... ... . . HAHA

2008-06-13T18:23:00.001+08:00

Sigh….. I just said ‘’emo’’ no more yesterday and yet now I’m feeling it again. Haha, why? I really do not understand why. I could not even expect the least I expect. Hahaha, and I really wonder will you even just so happen to stumble upon my blog. Hahahaha.

I’ve got a very unproductive day and a sleepless night; I think Khabir should understand why. It’s terrible to kept waking up in the middle of the night till early morning. Have any of you ever experienced it? Homemade sandwich for brunch and went to lift some weights. The rest of the afternoon is just stoning in front of the computer and television plus waiting…. And waiting…

After 5 hours, decide to go for a swim alone and I manage to drag my feet there, it’s my longest and most intensive swimming I’ve ever done alone. Oh shit , I sound as if I’m a loner hahaha! What to do? KA suggest to watch midnight movie and ton over kok’s house and watch Euro 2008. Not really interested as I’ve got work tomorrow morning. So………… see how then.

=)

2008-06-12T23:44:00.000+08:00

‘’ Emo” no more! Why should we be sad? No point it doesn’t help at all! Haha, So learnt to see things in a different perspective and with an open heart everything should be fine. Oh man, fcuk is having 50% sale! Check it out. I want a subcrew backpack!
There are many things I wish I didn’t do in my life but the thing is that I’m not a perfect person. All of us learnt through different ways, we won’t learn something until we realize it ourselves. So I guess this is life, we learn as we grow, perhaps some of us will not even realize what we have done wrong till out end of life. We search for our true identity, our true self or we’ll learnt to be like someone else, I guess I’m still on the journey of searching my true self everyone else does that and we learnt from each other some of us won’t be able to make it till the end of our lives. Our life spent is short, very short. We are unable to do all the things we want within our life time.
But some of us are able to do it with some advantage that we are given at the moment when we enter this world. We study science and yet we fall back on our religion which is in turn create by we humans ourselves which what I believe other than the other stories which some of us believes.
I respect those religious figures as they are the very rare few of us humans whom have done something so great or have been so influential within their life time and their legacy live for a few thousand years till now. We humans have conquered the sky few hundred years ago and soon after that the moon and then plant Mars. So I’ve got one question, where is the someone or the few who believed to live ‘’up there’’? Funny isn’t it? And yet we still insist to live in denial. Hahaha.

When I see your smile tears roll down my face I can't replace. And now that I'm strong I have figured out how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul, and I know ill find deep inside me, I can be the one. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. It's ok. it's ok. it's ok.Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us days grow longer and nights grow shorter I can show you I'll be the one. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. Cause you're my you're my my true love my whole heart please don't throw that away. Cause I'm here, for you please don't walk away and please tell me you'll stay, stay... Use me as you will pull my strings just for a thrill and I know ill be okay though my skies are turning gray. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all even if saving you sends me to heaven. I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all even if saving you sends me to heaven.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus lyrics - Your Guardian Angel

2008-06-11T14:57:00.001+08:00

What boring holiday, boring day too. Sigh, sometimes I wish I could be deaf or blind so that I could see the world with a different perspective and probably I will get to understand more things.

I've realise it, i'm sorry and I think I've lost a friend. Pity isn't it ?