Gone....

First day of my holidays and it suck.
Have got PP to complete but I’m not doing anything about it.
Just came back from a funeral. It’s a typical Taoist funeral, each table will be served some food and most of the people there enjoy eating the scrumptious meal prepared. I’ve got no idea why, but I just don’t have the appetite to eat. I feel like as if it’s so out of place. Aren’t we supposed to mourn for the death of the decease instead? Apart from that some of them still can gamble there right in front of the dead. Hmm, I find it so weird. I guess it’s another effect of modernization.
Anyway, I guess I’m suffering from insomnia. I can’t sleep although I’m physically worn-out by the gym session during the day time. Streams of thoughts just keep running in my head although I’ve tried hard not to even think of it. I wonder how long I will be living my life like this. Why is it so difficult? I don't know what else I can do. Sigh ..

?

I’m tired, very tired. Tired of doing things which I’m suppose to do.
Time just passes day by day and nothing changes.
I wish I could go for a short retreat at some Hawaiian beach resort.


'' I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams.. '' - 3 Doors Down

Everything stays the same.....

9 of August 2008, how I wish could spent the day like last year.
I don’t know where should I start from, or how should I even react.
Time, time, time, is it all it takes? For now, I’m certain that it’s not.
Deep down, I wish I could leave everything behind and go to a place far from here, to hide and to deceive myself on certain things.

I'm sorry...

Smile because it happened, don't cry because it's over.

It’s gonna be a dull and repetitive entry again.
I don’t know how to solve this problem, I guess I shall find a corner in my brain and hide it for the time being. I do not know how to be fine when I’m not. At the same time, life has to continue. I’ve done numerous mistakes which leads to the up most undesirable consequences.
After next Monday, semester 1 will officially come to an end. It started off with much enthusiasm and excitement but it ended off with great disappointment and distress. It’s one of my greatest learning journeys in life I guess? Or it is just a part of growing up and life? I’m totally clueless.
I remember someone told me this quote, ‘’ don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened’’ I hope it’s correct , correct me if I’m wrong.
Sometimes, it’s quite funny how we perceive certain things in life. When the worse things happen, we will lie to ourselves that there’s something greater or better lying ahead of us, thus we should move on and stop grieving on what that have happened. But it’s that true? We don’t know but we choose to believe our own lies.

One missing piece...

For everything that I’m doing currently just don’t seems right every day just seems so grey and monotonous , it’s that kind of feeling where you feel like there’s something missing something have been taken away from you. Like when you’re out with your friends physically but your soul is not there. I don’t wish to be a nuisance too. I’m sorry but I can’t help it. Time can’t erase this feeling so strong.
Alight, goodnight everyone….

Time flies .......

Time flies, next week will be the last week of AY08/09 semester 1.
Quite a number of major events happened and out of a sudden kaaaa boom! Everything has ended just in a blink of an eye.
I’ve get to know some fabulous classmate and facilitator. Again, we can’t expect everything to last forever. We’ll be having a change of class next semester.
Certainly, some of us will go through or experience some things that will change the course of our life. And sadly, I’m that kind of person who can’t adapt to changes that well.
Well, what to do? Life still go on and nothing will slow down and wait for anyone of us.
I wish I can be stronger in the sense that I can just heck care everything and move on each time, and then we will not get that emotional and feel so fcuk up at times and it applies to everything that have happen during my life time . I guess I should slowly learn and aspire to be like that and I’ll lead a better life without anything to hold me back and I can do whatever I like.

Somewhere over the rainbow..

( awesome jumbo hot dog !)

(what kicks are you rocking today? LOL)

Stay back in school to do PP yesterday. I don’t think things are going well. I’ve never expect this to happen. Nevertheless, I will be there whenever you need me, I will go all out, no doubt and unconditional. I wish you well =)