Funny incident...

Yesterday, khab borrowed my phone to call his friend. After like ten minutes, I forget all about it and I start to panic and search high and low for my phone. And I wonder where the hell my phone is.
This is crazy…..

Nice day =)

I really don’t know what to do…
No matter how hard I try to escape from it, no matter how hard I pray, I can’t seems to erase the feelings that hunts me day and night.
I’m clueless …..

Pls, save me.

Ever get so lost in a day?
Doing something and half the time your time or soul is actually not there?
I realized that I can’t, I’ve tried hard enough.
But ok it might not seem that I’ve.
I did, and it’s terrible.
Sigh …

what a nice day !

Oh well, oh…
I wish I could express my feelings not only through words and actions. I feel like as if I’m a mute at times.
Now that it’s all said and done.
I’ve lots of stuffs to say, lots of things running n my head, but I just feel blank.
I guess there is no other way the only thing is to keep it within myself so that I won’t be such a nuisance to anyone else.
Rotting at corner in the school library, it’s damn freaking bored.
Got up late this morning and have to cab to school rush to my bock without knowing which class I should go.
Get into the class and settle down like 1 min before the UT starts. Finally manage to start the UT and guess what? My come just shut down by itself. So I’m left with no choice but to use the paper and realize that I’ve not done any test using the pen for like almost 1 ½ years. Manage to finish every question in time.

Pretty much what that have happened this morning, what a good start!

Rotting at the library to wait for the next UT. And now is like 1:46pm only. Oh praise the lord! What a good day!

=

All good things...

Yes, I’m repeating this again and again, why do all good things come to an end? Why??
Why?
Why?
If I wish I could do so, I would have done it earlier; if it’s within my control I would have done it earlier.
Of course, how I wish I can control how I feel. Ok it’s a little bit contradicting as we can control how we feel but at times we can’t.
I wish I can stop thinking that there is this someday or somehow, or just so that something like a miracle will happen.
I ask myself why am still so stubborn? Why am I still living in self denial when everything has been said so clearly? Why? Do you know why?
What are the factors that cause me to be such a pain?
Is it just because I’m stubborn? Yes there might be a possibility, but is that so?
Think a little deeper.
The emotions, assurance, hope, happiness and love that is planted in long ago doesn’t count?
Please believe me, it’s insuppressible, it’s demanding and it’s still taking my breath away.
Time can’t erase the feeling this strong.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home,
girl , my love will get you home. ( christine glass) edited.

With you.....

Its 330am and I’m not sleeping yet.
Whenever I close my eyes, I’ll see those beautiful moments …..
And when I open my eyes, my heart will miss a beat, shortness of breath and coldness struck my heart.
I sincerely pray and hope that I could sleep and wake up with you telling me that, it’s just a nightmare baby, it’s alright.
Please, bring me back.
Is this what we all have to go through in life? Why?
Is that the only way for destiny?



I need you boo,
I gotta see you boo
And the hearts all over the world tonight,
Said the hearts all over the world tonight (Chris Brown)

I just can't turn away, i can't look away....

There is no other word that can best describe my feelings now.
I did expect that this will happen but I never expect it to really happen.
Yes, I’ve got to accept it but at this point of time I personally feel that it’s not up to me to decide.
It’s just so difficult deal with these overwhelming emotions which hunts after me day and night.
I’m willing and ever ready to give up anything just to buy some time to stop all these that have happened.
Yes, it’s really stupid to feel like that but the truth is I’m really driven to such a point where I’m really so desperate. (Yes, I’m the one who cause this to myself)
I understand that it should be mutual. But, I really just can’t help it.
Please, save me from this like how you capture my soul.

Some things to think about....

If tomorrow never comes what will you do?
We all have obligations, responsibilities, goals, and priorities that are relevant, such as our financial security, career status, and social prestige. We have goals, dreams, ambitions and obstacles to overcome. We also have unique challenges to face, hurdles to climb, people to meet, all sorts of relationships to foster, and on and on.
We even have superficial stuff on our agendas such as our lifestyle, how much money we make, the kind of car we drive, the possessions we accumulate how we look, and so forth. All of this is fine and good and reasonable. But none of it is what’s going to make us happy when we only have one more breath to breathe.
I treasure every moment for now till I don’t know when.

Somewhere, sometime ....

I’ve got the hint long ago, but this is not gonna do me any better.
Definitely not…. (Yes, it’s tough for you too)
What to do? Please tell me…
You guys might think that I’m mad; you all will experience it one day or perhaps not at all.
I do not know how to react, I guess I should be glad too as I’ve realize and discover something which maybe some people might not even realize it in their life time.
Yes what I’m feeling now might be peanuts compared to the earthquake victims of China but it’s nowhere far.
It’s not about being able to get used to it a not, I’m sure it’s not…..
Well, like I’ve always say, I guess that’s life…



Baby why can't we just, just start over againGet it back to the way it wasIf you give me a chance I can love you rightBut you're telling me it won't be enough
Baby why can't we just, just start over againGet it back to the way it wasIf you give me a chance I can love you rightBut you're telling me it won't be enough ….. (Elliot Yamin)

Lost ....

I don’t know where to start from, just lost and out of my mind I guess.
I’m really lost and do not know what to do.
I hope everything will be fine just like before.
Teasing, disturbing, and playing.
To think that all these will be gone just stuck me cold and out of breath and lost.
I’m willing, willing to wait…

Please turn around and look back.............

Blank , I mind just go blank. I hope it can shut down by itself one day or just blackout.
Again, I sincerely hope I could just disappear into the thin air.
Once again, I fell all the way down to the rock bottom.
This is not about getting emotional, I guess nobody else understand how I feel right now and no best word can describe it.
The whole world just seems to crashing on me.
Yes I know, I know what I’m doing because I don’t give up easily for something which is already a part of my life and important in my life.

Life....

Yes , emo and it seems like it’ll never end. So just have to live with it.
I guess nobody else can help me except myself.
Again, it’s difficult very difficult.
In life, we learn through our experience and mistakes.
Many a times we won’t realize it until I don’t know when.
Sigh…
If any of you don’t feel like getting emo please do not continue reading.
I think I can consider myself floating at my lowest peak of my life, I was once up there riding on top of the waves but it just crashed.
Yes we do experience ups and down. But hey it’s terrible man!
Right now, what I’ve learnt is to appreciate, treasure and give some more thoughts before I speak. =)
Hmm… ok I shan’t continue further before I utter some more nonsense that will screw things up further although I’m already screwed.
Lastly, oh hi people! Welcome to the other side of Emmerson !

Now you wanna be free, i'll let you fly cos I know in my heart that our love never dies, you will always be a part of me. =)

Hmm…. I have lots and lots to say, but I’m just like having a mental block that I can’t put my thoughts into words.
Thanks to my friends again, thank you Jun Kai and Koon Ann.
I think I’ve to seriously learn,
I REAP what I SOW, ( lol)
Some things in life when we missed it we might not be able to get it back, never again.
I guess, it’s never too late to realize it now, at least I’ve really learn something.
I do not hate anyone else except myself.
I realize that no matter what happens nothing will stop life still goes on and each day will pass no matter how sad or devastated we are.
So, I’m trying hard really trying.
Well, time flies nothing last forever….
But on the bottom line it’s the matter of fact if we want to or not.
I never give up and for now I can’t because I’m rational enough to know who is really so dear and important to me right now at this point of my life.
Yes, it’s no point saying this now, but it’s just how I feel.
You guys might have or have not experience such a situation or perhaps maybe something worse. I guess you all will experience it one day or maybe you will never experience it in your life time.
We go through different stages in life, we have to make decisions and sometimes it’s difficult when you approach the crossroads. Which way to choose? Where to go? How?
The answers are actually within us.
Same goes for me, I choose to live in self denial. Hoping that I will and can maybe wake up one day and all that I’ve experienced currently it’s just a dream.
Hmm…yes, terrible, hopeless Emmerson. =)

Super dry and boring day, had some fun in the sports lab with some crazy classmates.

That's all..

Sigh... =) =(

hmm ....

A lot of things in this world is unpredictable,
But never in my life have I been so sure
You’re the only girl that I love in this cold world.
I yearn for you every day and night
Although you’re not ready for now, but I shall wait till you sort out your feelings right
I’m sure there’s something ahead waiting for us
Just like how we got together from the start.
You’ve never been out of my mind ever since the day you walk away
Like how you mesmerize me right from the very first day
Like how I persisted all these days
I shall wait for you till the day your back again
Although the future seems blur
But please be rest assure
We will create it like how we did
And venture into this whole new world.
For how long I’ll wait, time will prove it.
For how much I love you, actions will show.
Never be afraid to hold my hands again
For you , my girl I shall wait……

Can't stop looking back......

Sigh.. I can’t help but sigh.
There’s too much to say, and it’s just the foolish me.
When will I wake up from this stupid dream of mine?
Living on each day, hoping that I’ll wake up from this might mare.
I hope I could get to a place where I can just leave everything behind.
I do not want sympathy.
Why can people switch roles?
Oh perhaps I could not accept reality that’s why.
Control, control control.
Do not screw things up further.
Get back to reality.

happy yet sad day... =) =(

Just got this sudden urge to blog again, I’m so tired physically and yet I can’t sleep.
Today’s grandma’s birthday!
Went to celebrate her birthday at some restaurant at Mirama hotel.
The quality and the food sucks. The waitress who serves us is a cranky old woman.
I think I should really learn.
And I think I’ve develop this ‘’mental illness’’
I bet some of you did experienced it before.
When you’re waiting or expecting a call too much, at a certain point of time your brain will start playing tricks.
I checked my hand phone twice and I thought I’ve receive an sms to my surprise the phone didn’t even vibrate and there’s nothing. LOL
Laugh all you want. Ha ha..
Took some pictures with my cousins… will update as soon as I got hold of it.
I miss you….

04/07/08

Weekends full of dinners.
Hmm… why do all good things come to an end?
HAHA!
Trying to get better
And behave
Craving for Muthu curry
Thinking of you
A lot of stuffs to do
No time to decide
Laugh and cry
I hope I could buy time

asdfghjkl asdfghj

Sigh…. It seems like I’ve just got struck my lighting. Hahaha…..
Cold and out of breath….
This is madness hahaha…..
Having anatomy and physiology today, man I’m seriously cold and out of breath.
God, save me! Wake me up!