Realise...

Sometimes, I can’t help it but to think that, what is suppose to happen will happen eventually and there’s nothing we can do. It might sound very illogical and shallow, but isn’t it true? Don’t we have enough time to realize it and stop it from happening? Possible? I don’t know... Anyway… anyway it’s… yah. Some things are better left unsaid... Sigh...

how are you... ? I miss you.....

Went out to have a couple of drinks last night with WS, H and X and bump into a couple of my friends also around there. Reach home bloody late but still manage to wake up for lesson this morning.
The class sucks to the core, especially with some fucking weird classmates around. Ok don’t wish to elaborate further.
Anyway, it’s half way through the day, and I’m fucking hating it.

Girl, remember the days when we were doing things that we love, together?
So much so that I wish to let go, but some things just can’t go the way we wish it will.
No one said that it’s easy.
All I know is that sometimes, it can be so difficult that you can’t even swallow your own saliva......

With you...

The busy days are over ….
Somehow I can’t forget you, after all that we have been through …
I thought that it will get better in time, and it’s just a matter of time but it’s not true.
It’s getting harder and harder to get through the days as everything doesn’t seem to come out right.
I love how the way you make my world go round.
Yes, I know things weren’t the same just like before.
But my mind can’t erase the memories and let it rest.
The only thing that keeps me alive is to think that you’re better off now.
Even with that, I struggle to move on…
I don’t know what I can wish for now, but to pray that it’ll get better.

Learning to live without you....

Have not been online for almost one whole week, a total cut off from technology including my hand phone. It’s a super busy week sleeping at around 4 am almost every night. I’m glad that the ‘’ busyness’’ at least keep my mind off certain things for the time being. But unfortunately last night, it finally surfaced itself again after one whole week. Sigh, I seriously don’t know what’s with me too. I don’t know. It might sound ridiculous or silly to you, but I’ve developed some kind of fear of going to school… It really suck.

I think of you every night and I really miss you..

always a part of me..

Wanting to blog something down, but I’m too tired recently. This week is hectic, turn in at 3am every night. Needless to say, the same old thing is still running in my head every day, every moment.
My watch just stop running this morning, no matter how I wind it, it just won’t start running again. But instead of throwing it away I still wear it to school, because it have became a necessity in my everyday live, when I forget to put on my watch it’ll just seems like there’s something missing and I’ll still look at my wrist time to time forgetting that I’ve forget to wear it for the day. It’s not Tag Heuer or Cartier, it’s just a normal mechanical watch but it meant a lot to me due to its sentimental value.Well.... ...

Getting nowhere...

I hope I’m wrong, and I pray that it’ll not happen. Come to think of it, what’s anything worse than that, which I’ve not seen yet?
Came across this very old song when browsing through my friend’s playlist.
Title- Only Love

If, if only, if only I could realize it earlier then it might not turn out this way. It has been quite some time, but nothing seems to have changed. I’ve tried my best….

Happy ending...

I’m so afraid when the sky starts to turn dark when the night falls recently, very afraid. I’m not kidding, it really freaks me out because it’s not gonna get any better. I thought I’m moving, until I realized that I’m still stuck at the same old spot. It’s still talking my breath away

New sem, same old shit....

Officially first day of school for semester 2, this time round not much problem of getting to the correct class, must thank the school for the sms reminder service. Anyway, I was almost late for class and I hate walking into a new class full of people and you will be like a blur cock standing there in search for a sit. The rest of them will give you that cold stare ‘’ your almost late’’, ‘’ your sit is over there blur cork’’ in their mind that kind of thing. Ok so I settle down and found my teammates with the help of a helpful classmate. So it turns out pretty ok, but the lesson is super duper boring like hell, too lazy to even contribute during class discussion until the faci call up my name. I stunned for a second and just think of some crap to answer to her question, and luckily it make some sense and the rest of the class agreed. *Phew~

Just when I thought it will not affect me that much anymore, but I’m wrong. I hope the day will come soon, the day when I can read through the e-mails and messages without feeling anything, just pray for this day to come…

I still ......

Have been so tired and busy lately, too tired to do a lot of things.
Who are you now? Are you still the same or did you change somehow?
What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you?
No matter how I fight it, can’t deny it, just can’t let you go.
Though everything’s been said and done, I still feel you like I’m right beside you.
Now that you’re gone, instead of moving on, I refuse to see and I keep coming back,
And I’m stuck in a moment, that wasn’t meant to last.
Alright, time to try to sleep again bye ……

'' I still.....'' (extracted from the song by Backstreet Boys)